?

Log in

There · was · never · a · name · for · it...

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · Profile

* * *
Well where are you now...why dont i feel that way anymore?Is it just me....just my fucked up mind?Do i still feel the same but dont even know it?How can i not know how i feel?I just want to feel again...
Current Location:
home as usual...
Current Mood:
morose morose
Current Music:
bella's lullaby
* * *
Aah so bored...watched TWILIGHT today...cute movie...love it!lol.I wish i felt passion like that about something,someone...anything.I just dont feel much of anything.I dont know what i'm doing,who i am,or what i want to do to change that.I feel like i'm stuck.I want to get a girlfriend...i want to do something for me.I'm not happy with how things are,so i am going to change things,and i am most certain i will hurt someone and probably fuck shit up.All just to be happy...dont ya love it?I dont wanna do this but i've been sitting back just letting things go,letting them happen and i think i'm missing out on something here.I am sorry but i think it's time i do something to really be happy for once.
Current Location:
Home with my baby girl!
Current Mood:
guilty guilty
Current Music:
Karma police(cover)-Finch
* * *
Aahh...where to begin?I dont know....fuck i dont know how i feel about anything really.I'm just here,no thoughts,no feelings....or so it seems that way...Autumn's doing great,I love her to death!She is my WORLD....without her i dont know where i would be or what i'd be doing.I want more for myself and for her....i want her to have the best life possible.I just feel like i dont know who i am anymore.I feel like i need to be alone i need space(not from my daughter)and i need to make new friends.I feel like i'm fucking things up without really intentionally doing it.I think i always do that...and sometimes hurt other people without meaning to.What the fuck do i do??
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
discontent discontent
Current Music:
Decode(acoustic)-Paramore
* * *
Yup nothing like moving everything in 2 days.We are going to stay at Eric's ma's for a little bit again,Eric will be starting a WAY better job soon(actually his old job)and we will be able to go out and have money for whatever!He will still work at autozone also.We will also have a new car by the end of the month,most likely before.I am hoping to go somewhere kinda far from this area.That would be nice.
Current Location:
Home...till friday,lol!!
Current Mood:
giddy giddy
Current Music:
The Postal service
* * *
I'M OFF PROBATION!!!!
Current Location:
Home with my lil girl Autumn
Current Mood:
bouncy bouncy
Current Music:
Three Days Grace
* * *
* * *
It's 2:30am now and i'm sure i will be up till 4 or 5.I just keep thinking, what are we gonna do?Where are we gonna go?Will the baby be safe and ok?I really hope we can figure out something soon.This really wouldnt be too big of a deal if i didnt have another life relying on me to keep her safe and somewhere warm and to be able to feed her and everything else.Why does it always seem to happen to the good people?You try and try and it gets you nowhere.When are things going to settle?I know it wont be for a long time.Eric still has to go to jail for 2-3 months.And during that time i dont know what I'm gonna do.Trying to save money so i can pay rent and whatnot when he goes isnt an option since we live dollar for dollar,penny for penny.I'm sure i would have a job by now if i didnt have to find one that would work around when he works,since he cannot drive himself.I just stay up all nite now worrying.Well the only way not to lose our home is to find about 5 or 6 hundred dollars.And yea that sure as shit aint happening.
Current Mood:
worried worried
* * *
Yea so we are definetly gonna be homeless really soon here if we can find a way to come up with some money in a few days or so.But yea that's not gonna happen unless we rob a bank or some crazy shit.Yea i dont know what we are gonna do.I wish we never had to spend the 2 hundred dollars to get eric out of jail.We would be good if we didnt have to do that.Shirley should have moved in by now and then we for sure would be fine but she wasnt able to transfer so she has to look for another job or something.Yup this sucks for sure.
Current Location:
home for now anyway...
Current Mood:
disappointed disappointed
* * *
So Eric is home btw,since sunday.But yea we may be moving also.Not sure when or where but i hope soon.Well things are ok really except the lack of money.I need to find some clothes for autumn for free cuz she needs some bad.Well she has alot of clothes just not what she needs at the moment....
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
cheerful cheerful
* * *
So Eric has been in jail for 24 hours now.I dont know if I can get the money to get him out.If I dont he'll be in jail for 2-3 months and me and autumn will be stuck with no where to live.Thanks so much to the true friends and family who have helped.So i've just been crying on and off and freaking out cause I dont know what's gonna happen.I cant even keep a roof over my daughters head on my own....but i guess thats alot of people.Almost no one can survive by themselves anymore.
Current Location:
HOME
Current Mood:
crappy I dont know what to do...
Current Music:
Waiting for the phone to ring and for it to be Eric....
* * *
So Shirley is moving in with me....I'm excited!I really hope it helps her.I hope she feels better and everything being here.But now because I asked Shirley to move in instead of someone else,they seem to think I dislike them and think they are a bad person....well thats just stupid cause I dont.I asked her because it is in our best interest and will benefit us both.She needs it.I want her to be happy.You also but if you are really wondering why I didnt ask you instead...then I guess you really dont know yourself or your just selfish.If you really wanna talk about why I asked her call me.You have been supposed to for days now anywayz.But I guess your too busy with your bf or getting drunk and partying.I mean she wants to be out here and we want her here too.This isnt me picking who I like better or some shit.I love you both damn it!
Current Location:
Home with baby Autumn
Current Mood:
confused I dont get you sometimes
Current Music:
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
* * *
* * *

Previous